Tuesday, August 30, 2011

BKO: Bangkok Knockout Review

Man, I just had a great night, the girl of my dreams came to my victory banquet after I won a trip for me and my friends  to be in Hollywood as a martial arts crew, but wait a second. How did I get in this room? Why's everyone sleeping?

10 minutes in
Oh crap did a car just come out of nowhere a hit one of my friends.
 11 minutes in
My girls being taken by ninjas!
12 minutes in
I hate ninjas and I really hate today, but hopefully me and my martial arts crew will be enough.

BKO: Bangkok Knockout can not be explained without TALKING SLIGHTLY LOUDER AS YOU PROGRESS IN YOUR EXPLANATION. So just imagine energizing music and a narrator getting you pumped for this film.

(This part in Narrator voice)
It's all about making it to Hollywood for a young team of martial art students. Each has their own style to kick ass and they"ll need it taking on a group on ninjas and other bad guys.

 How about a car chase inside of abandoned factory, an abandoned factory that makes ceramic pots. Let's not forget a psycho wielding an axe, a dude whose way to into you, ninjas, a spider-like dude, sword fights, motorcycle punks, guns and every one's hair looking good.

Now matter being beaten, punched, kicked in the head, elbowed, falling in the dirt, being in a dusty old factory building, beaten with metal, shot at, run over or being drenched in water these dudes hair never gets a split-end and always looks styled and gelled.
(End of  Narrator voice)

The other spectacle then invincible hair is the stunts and martial arts. Attacks so awesome you"ll be going "Wow". If you've seen Jackie Chan pull off some impressive moves you'll be wanting him to compete with these dudes. Kicks off a chain link fence are quite impressive, but so are punching people into cars.  The amount of punches a elbows are just brutal, it's just a rush of adrenaline.
The extras also have a Making of and Behind the Scenes part to see how certain stunts we're pulled off.
 The plot's contrived and when people speak English you"ll just start laughing. There's a whole illegal high stakes gambling subplot going on that is just ridiculous. I love the use of iPads by the bad guys. iPad the main weapon of every current super villain.

Talking about bad guys, there's one boss fight that makes the whole martial arts team try and take down one guy. Will they? He kicks all their butts with ease. He just needs to take a breather.

It's not really a B-movie and if they had just taken some more time with the whole human life gambling side it be top notch. The part with the Mom and kid sister we're way too corny. This movie is a Martial arts movie. Ridiculous plot and all out action. Pick it up or miss out on all impossibly clean hair action.