Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Dead Space 3 Review So Many Elevators

Could a game contain any more elevators? For a sci-fi-zombie-relegious making fun of game all it comes down to is being stuck inside elevators for most of it.

Being stuck on a ladder. Being stuck in a strange room where the door slides around 360. The worst part might have been the rappelling up the side of a mountain. My co-player, Murder LA's James Cohen and I wondered who thought rappelling up or down a mountain was a good idea in the first place to get around, both in game development and testing and in the actual story of an army base trying to get people and resources around to different locations. The saddest part is it trying to live up to Lost Planet, it's now cheap Lost Planet, no expert surgeon cutting of of limbs and appendages, just shoot the glowing orange part off the alien. I can see why EA dropped its DRM it just wasn't worth it on the game they released.

I hadn't had a chance to play the title and after going back and looking at the major gaming sites giving it good reviews I feel sick. It has to be the most luke-warm third-person shooter I've played in years. Devoid of anything near a engaging story, nor fun game-play.

The one joke it tries to pull-off  about the Rosetta Stone with the Rosetta slabs shows the game trying to have fun, but hankered down by either annoying executives or bad management. No idea, but it looks like someone tried to put some fun writing in it and was beaten severely for trying to do so. Characters immediately use profanity throwing the f word out in moments they shouldn't like their was a disconnect from game director and staff. You have more than Issac and Clark in the game and anyone other then them is cannon fodder for bad cut scenes about "tough decisions". One of the genuine worst moments is when Ellie, Issac's girlfriend has a hissy-fit about their relationship when they are in massive danger still. Comparing the writing to a SyFy Channel original movie is too nice a gesture.

What was once challenging game-play in earlier experiences where you had to surgically strike at enemies, removing vital parts has been replaced with 2 hits from whatever gun you make and they're dead. That and the loss of upside down, held on by magnetic shoes game-play. You're too powerful by the end of the game. Even so enemies might still take you out if enough come at you at once.

Weapon making, a hallmark of the series was bitter. My partner and I found hardly any blue-prints during game-play. Eventually, I looked online for how to build what I wanted. My partner deciding to stick with the same weapons as they seemed to do the same damage no matter what he made.

The one sparkle I like from the series was the Scavenger-bots. Cute little robots you place on the ground and they collect items for you. They're cute and I kind of would have like it if I had more control or used them in some other capacity, perhaps they were part of my armor or became guns. 

Then there's the waiting and back-tracking. Elevators, ladders and weird sliding doors you have to wait at. A major problem, standing near a ladder will cause your co-player to not be allowed to use the ladder, why? The amount of time I spent in elevators and locked doors should be calculated as time wasted. Not even any funny elevator music to make fun of the situation?No really, maybe have a drinking game with friends watching you, see an elevator  and drink, you'll lose it.

This was such a let down to fans of the series and those wanting some fun sci-fi zombie shooting co-play. It's not worth renting and should best be forgotten or teach other shooters what not to be.