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Friday, July 17, 2009

Bio Zombie Review

Bio- Zombie Review

I can’t believe they made a gameboy camera touching. Bio Zombie is the highest pedigree of a B-horror zombie movie. You have a mall filled with dumb people and zombies. The movie starts out like this; two delinquent buddies are running a pirated DVD store in a mall way too small for Americans to fit in. A few poor decisions and dumb names later (the cute girls are call Jelly & Roll, while the boys are named Bee and Woody Invincible) you have idiots with survival skills of lemmings trying to escape death from the walking undead. It’s actually a Honk Kong Zombie flick, which is even better than a Japanese one. Hell, that’s where Jackie Chan made most of his good movies, but, there are no Jackie Chans to save anyone in this flick. The gore level is quite ridiculous with bloodletting happening quite a lot. All your old school favorites: decapitation, arms being pulled off, head eating, slight jabs to the face that cause lots of bleeding and the biting of many necks. A zombie kill in a bathroom looks like the elevators opening in The Shining. Scenes of dread become instant gross classics, this is actually the second time I’ve seen finger sushi in an Asian movie, and I wonder if Machine Gun Girl was inspired by this flick.
If you can’t stomach delectable finger sushi then you won’t be able to handle the 90’s plot. The zombification happens due to biological weapons. Biological weapons only the Iraqis can provide to Honk Kong business men. Now putting the biological weapon into bottles that looks like strawberry soda is pure genius, because who the Hell would look for anything menacing on a tiny bottle you can carry on a plane. No one would just drink it if their thirsty. To add to that note the writing in this shines.I love how one of the businessman’s underlings ask if should drink the soda after hearing everything I just said about the soda being a biological weapon. “Should I drink it?”, makes the movie in a long line of poor lines like the great cinematic language of the resident evil series.
This movie borrows from video games, but not ever taking the Uwe Bowel rectal prolapsed route. Bee and Woody learn to kill zombies from a video game they were playing earlier. Bee uses his game boy camera to look around angles he can’t. It doesn’t stop there around the second half of the movie you get some video game love. A little bit of a HUD or display is thrown up when characters find a useful item like a gun or phone. Stats on all the main character are thrown up with their weapons, sex drive, age and height and birthday, showing them like a character select screen.
You can’t select which one of your favorite character lives or dies. You’ll be thinking, “Oh no that was my favorite character I wanted her to make it”, or “I hope that jerk dies”. You might even fill sad for one zombie who fell in love. No there isn’t zombie sex. So even with a lack of zombie sex definitely put this up at the top of your Netflix queue because I hear Blockbuster is nearly bankrupt and Hollywood Video probably just won’t have it.