Friday, October 11, 2013

Los Angeles Haunted Hayride 2013 Hooray For Horror

Los Angeles Haunted Hayride 2013 
October 4- 31 every Thursday-Sunday in addition to Wednesday, the 30th
Griffith Park – Old Abandoned Zoo
4730 Crystal Springs Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90027
$5 Off Discount coupons are available with your purchase of any Sunkist or Squirt soda product at all Southern California Ralph’s Supermarkets.

The Haunted Hayride has new scares to spring on you as you go down the beaten path of the Old Abandoned Zoo in Griffith Park. Something scares you about just being in the mountains at night. The Dark Maze maintains in dark allure and two guys one fat, the other bald are demonologists, in Purgatory. (TTDILA'S policy on claimed paranormal investigators are that they are fakes)

Haunted Hayride

The Haunted Hayride this year was a new delight in terror, the theme of this year of "based on actual events" is more or less burned in a fire as new monsters plague your adventure. As you sit down being driven around by a tractor in a bed of hay with other like minded fear-seekers the wind of fall is on your shoulders and monsters are about to breath down your neck.

"Based on actual events" is more like "based on actual events, then we added a lot more that didn't happen". Some strange sights are to be beheld by you. Some amazing new monsters, great scare moments and planned attacks will have you screaming, "Ahhhh, you got me!".


Starting with videos of crime scenes and murder news reports on passing televisions you soon encounter a wailing wall, past the outstretched hands of many. Soon a gang of the undead make a nice visit to the tractor, perhaps a tour bus crashed or the victims here are "based on actual events".

You enter an all girls school of the damned, nuns and young schoolgirls never looked so hot, as some are burning as living brimstone. Be careful, the nuns are strict as this school, eyes front or out of your head. High praise for the special effects costume of "hot" school girls to Ten Thirty-One, the people behind the ride.  Though fire damaged young ladies are not the only dirty, messed-up horrors you'll see that night.

Past the damned school we have a graveyard and an old favorite from last year the "Satanic church". These church goers are less inclined to praise and more to haze. Don't stare to deeply into their burning eyes. Musical synced moments are the best.

Next, you'll encounter what everybody called, "Burning Man". Watch out for the witch summoning her children of the corn and see some sacrifices. What a messed-up sexy man corn maze, why we're all the corn husk creatures shirtless and pumped dudes? Anyway, moment for the ladies.

A moment for both man and women in the luxurious S and M cages you'll pass by. Costume design once again gets major praise for S and M ghouls. Glowing red balls in their mouths sets the mood for sexy scary time. Their screams sound a little too pleasant and erotic.

It's more or less raining blood around the turn in the old shed, body bags look ready for processing.

 It's Christmas... some form of it. Think of it as a much more murderous time of year. Some well known murders wish to share the seasons greeting and body parts with you. No getting wet this time. The bubble machine is off this year. Something Santa-like still wants to see you though. Christmas decorations take on a bitter burnt gingerbread taste that looks gross, but so darkly sweet you'll want to gorge yourself .

Lastly, the church carries a secret. This is where our review of the hayride must get foggy so you don't see what's coming.

My hat literally came off my head at the end.

Haunted Hayride makes itself a source of fond scares to remember while sitting back and then suddenly screaming as the night terrors come out and grab you. New inventive costume and themes, great sudden scares and an ending that will leave you with an uneasy smile on your face wondering if it's really over.

Dark Maze

The dark lengthy maze returns. A strobe light has you turning corners in a group in a large maze house where who knows what could be lurking. The maze achieves so much with the simple concept of really being dark. Almost all other mazes in LA haunts are dark, but not going dark seconds apart, making you feel scared for what can be lurking in the shadows.

Soon your outside, but no better off with line chain-linked fences too-high to see over and a bright light blinding you if you look up. This is where the wolves come out and get you.

Back inside, be prepared for some tight squeezy moments.

Not much changed from last year.


The waiting area if lines are too long or you want to be entertained. This isn't purgatory at all as you have plenty to do.

TTDILA watched a sword swallower swallow more than swords. He acted as though something was in his throat. All these corny and bad jokes can be yours while watching his show.

So called demonologists are on the main-stage or at least when we went. If you want to get in the mood and listen to their stories of haunts go for it and be pulled in by their tales.

The reverse carousel of skeletons is up for you to ride. A short ride of twirling around awaits you on your boney buddies.

A carving pumpkin area lets you get your Halloween pumpkin for Halloween. The bigger the pumpkin the more it cost. Stencils or your own plans to make it face Halloween.

My favorite area this year was the Death Row photo booth. Many locations to take pictures of your friends and family and yourself being executed. Which scene will you choose? Get your head cut off, get electrocuted, you'll be dead in that photo no matter what.

Watch out for the wandering monsters too. They have plenty of creatures, monsters and freaks to sneak up on you

The rest

-Trash cans, where were they?

-Porta-potties are past the mirror maze and grub shack down the path. Ask information if you can't find them.

-Getting to the Haunted Hayride sometimes is it's own scary horror movie, just follow the signs and park in one of the big parking lots nearby.

-Sunkist is a sponsor so cans of it are a buck and can be purchased from the open casket.

Death Row photo opportunities