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Monday, April 27, 2020

Why Don't You Just Die! & She's Allergic to Cats Reviews: Lots Of Blood and Lots of Cats

 by Jonathan Bilski

OHHHH! NOOOOOO! It's been a while since I screamed that at my TV. The movie with cats in it didn't entice me to scream, "AHHHHHHHH!" No, it was the good ol' fashion super bloody, Why Don't You Just Die! from Russia, subtitled only. From director Kirill Sokolov comes a tale as old as time. Girlfriend asks boyfriend to kill her daddy. Things go wrong. Very, very wrong. And you buckle up your seat to see the ensuing violence occur. And it occurs on a wonderful level of you screaming, "Uh-oh," and "No, not his leg!" As a violent as it is, it is still a comedy, because y'know, it's Russia, there's not a lot of subtlety or dry humor from there.

We have a fight between the two stars, Vitaliy Khaev playing Andrei, bald, thicc man, who looks like he was built by the Mafia to be its Frankenstein thug, playing a terrible Dad. Then you have boyfriend, Aleksandr Kuznetsov, playing Matvey, who can really take a beating better than he looks. And you have them in the wrestling ring of a tacky Russian apartment, where anything goes.

It's not only a Jerry Springer worthy fight with furniture and power tools.We have a little backtracking vignette on how everyone gets connected, so there's some slow down. Never that much, before were back to something bad happening. And some lovely high tension at the start as to when the fighting will begin.

A movie for you to enjoy as blood stains the walls. You're with Matvey when he gets hurt and you feel it. Just like in our recent review of Swallow. When you see the woman in it swallow inanimate objects like a pin or marble you feel it going down your throat too. When a film can connect you on that level, it has you in a choke hold, much like how Andrei has Matvey later in the film.

There's definitely some themes in here with the director having a hard-on for green and red, be it in wallpaper, school uniforms or just the lighting and of course, with all the blood.

Then you have music set to violence that's so much a homage to Quentin Tarantino, that I would want to check scene by scene comparisons. I doubt there's anything directly comes very close though.

And on music selection, what a wonderful song ,"F&*k You" from The Hatters 2017 album Forever Young Forever Drunk.

I don't want to give you much on the plot as that's part of the fun with more than few criminal antics.

Who couldn't love the violence? Why Don't You Just Die! was a joy to see, scream at and follow every bit of grim going-on. It's a wild movie ride with just the right amount of gore and heart. An no, no one's heart gets ripped out...maybe emotionally.

Find it to rent online now available on YouTube, Play & Prime

She's Allergic to Cats 

This hurt, because of the high hopes I put on it from hearing about it for a few years on the festival circuit. I see now why it hadn't been picked up wile coming out in 2016. I think, when it premiered, the guy behind it gave the audience collectible cards from the movie, which showed the director has a sense of humor. I guess he does and it might be that this is a prank of some kind that this was allowed to be released.

This is a short film that got green-lit to go on way too long. It's independent, so, I'm sure it was never really green-lit. I'd say for the crowd who like to brag on seeing weird movies take a look, but everyone else it's like getting a shoulder pain. Not enough to knock you out for the day, just something annoying you've got to get through. It has but one redeeming silly oddity where the main character wants to recreate the movie Carrie with a cast of actual cats. The visuals alone would have made for trending Twitter posts. Other than the Carrie cat cast concept, it's all surreal, Tim & Eric humor. But sadder then Tim & Eric humor.

 Find it to rent online now available on Prime