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Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Dumb Names of Los Angeles

by Jonathan Bilski

We're not gonna go over wacky names like Wacko, which is a really cool gift shop/art gallery near Sunset. We're gonna go over places named by idiots to strum up business or promote their brands in an extremely poor manner. Will give you a short list and the history behind the names in this guide to the dumb names of places around LA.

We live in LA, or we assume you do...or at the very least your visiting. And many business want to get the value out of that. Just the name, Los Angeles. The same goes for Hollywood. That brings us to

The Hollywood Burbank Airport

For older kids, we would call it the Bob Hope Airport as that what it was named until late December 2017. It was named after funny man Bob Hope. A famous comedian/actor who worked in the Golden Age of cinema. You'd laugh at his schtick ,you can catch him on TCM. It's easy to look him up and you've probably heard of him in some way, even from cartoons. And it the airport has changed names over the years, before Bob they had all kinds of boring names based on the area. For a regular resident you would just call it the Burbank Airport or Bob Hope.

It was changed to the The Hollywood Burbank Airport as officials, those running the airport and local government thought people in the rest of America and the world were too stupid to understand it's another airport to get into LA.  That's right, the people running the airport thought tourists are too dumb to use that airport to enter LA. Even though Burbank is a part of LA.

Yeah, we're pretty sure travel sites online will tell you the closes airports to the location you want to get to. Human beings that help you travel, not travel agents, because they're all dead, we mean family looking online, will tell you that too.

In what has to be a sad time for those trying to explain to their parents that Hollywood is not where they"ll be landing, the name has stuck with the airport. Though locals never call it that as it's seven miles to Hollywood (without traffic). So, not that far a distance, it's just nowhere near your landing.

We would question why even leave the Burbank in the name as its current name is attempt to trick people that they're entering Hollywood. Do foreign people who don't get English question it? Does Burbank sound fishy to them? Like, what's Burbank? Do they think the Hollywood Sign will have Burbank spelled out in big letters underneath it?

We'd rather it just be called Bob Hope again.

Way further out where you might catch a fly-ball is probably our favorite in the collection of dumb names listed here is the

The Los Angeles Angels Stadium

Once called, if you can believe it, The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, is the baseball team in Anaheim. We still call them, the Anaheim Angles or just Angels, officially though, their name is the The Los Angeles Angels.

We've driven there, it's nowhere near LA, it's Anaheim, near Disney, near Knott's, not here. It's 30 miles from LA, via that's why it's another county and city!

Now this is all thanks to the jerk who owns the Angels and having some sort of faith in humanity. You see this jerk, Arte Moreno, current owner, bought the team from Disney in 2003. In 2005, he changed the name to, yes, The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The city of Anaheim was furious and they sued him up! Anaheim had originally paid for the stadium and renovations on the stadium. They had a right to be pissed. They could be losing money with, well, their city name being off the team.

In the suit it was revealed that legally you didn't have to call the team the Anaheim Angels even though that's the city they are located in. In fact, the city of LA was on the side of the city of Anaheim also thinking calling the team Los Angeles Angels is dumb. So, sadly the lawsuit failed and Moreno full dissolved the name to the Los Angles Angels in 2015.

As you park your car for WonderCon or to possibly see a game there, just remember you've gotta get on the freeway for an hour to really get to LA.

Oddly, enough it's hard to find the city of LA represented on their merch or images online. It's just the team name or a big A on their tees and jackets.

On your way back from a different city you might visit the well-known and iconic

TCL Chinese Theatre

Wait, what? TCL? Is that like a sugar deficiency or something. No, it's a Chinese multinational electronics company. Standing for: Telephone Communication Limited. In a way that doesn't really roll off your tongue or even seem like a good idea for naming rights, the company bought them in 2013 for $5 million. They don't even own it.

We don't think anyone, anywhere cares. No one calls it by that, it's still called Grauman's or Mann's by locals or even just The Chinese.

We think that TCL should just drop the rights as no one here would recognize the company. It was meant to raise awareness of the  Even in going there you don't hear anything about the company. And, unless a banner is out you won't no TCL even has the rights to the place.

Still in the mood for theater if the movie you wanted to see wasn't playing, then further downtown we have the oddly named

Regal L.A. LIVE: A Barco Innovation Center

Yeah, most theaters are called "Innovation Centers." Yeah, the first part is okay, it's a Regal theater at L.A. Live. The rest is crazy writing by a Belgium company. Once again, trying to showcase itself to people who don't care is Barco. They added some new technology to the place. That includes laser projection, immersive sound, a nice looking modern lobby and an attempt at ScreenX. Oops, we mean Barco Escape, which is the same thing as CGV Cinemas ScreenX, which are both having three screens, when you watch a movie. 

Now, I've been going to this theater since it was redubbed Barco back in 2016  and have never heard heard of Barco Escape. It may be, because they gave up on it as the page for it is archived, like a tombstone for a dead dream.

AEG owns the theater like all of L.A. Live and we don't know how the contract for the renovation let "A Barco Innovation Center" get attached to the name. Perhaps, it cut a deal on costs for the renovation? We don't know. People don't call it the Barco though.

Funny enough, CGV, the Korean company behind ScreenX, that has functioning ones in the US, why, there's one even in LA, has special theaters within this theater that let you experience 4DX. Which is another gimmick we won't pay extra for.

So, there you have it, some places in and near LA with some dumb names out of just trying to look cool to tourists or trying to unsuccessfully sell their brand.

If you have any place in or near LA for this criteria, please find the about page and send us an e-mail.

sources: The Hardball Times