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Friday, August 18, 2017

Patchwork Review: Let's Get Some Girls Together

*I know we've been doing a lot of horror posts lately, it's just a coincidence. The review of Bad Exorcists reminded us of how much we loved Patchwork another indie horror that came out recently online after hitting the film festival circuit in 2015. This one's way more horror comedy.

You know that feeling you get when you wake up after a night of hard drinking and partying or in some other cases a late night movie or video game binge. You know you feel bad, you might throw up and then you start hearing a ringing in your ear. Then you hear the voices of two strangers. Wait, why are those voices in your head.

Patchwork packs the punch of an old-school horror comedy from the 80's or early 90's when three girls come together to form one. Not as a Japanese super heroes piloting a giant robot. They come together because they've been cut up and sewed/stapled back-together as a Frankenstein. This horror comedy has great laughs at the dispense of other getting dispensed and three girls working together in one body.

The movie sets it start with the lead Jennifer played by Tory Stolper as basically, a not very much liked business woman at a bar on her birthday whose having an affair with her boss. Shortly, after a terrible evening out she wakes up to find herself part of a trio stuck inside a body made of three different women. Now, she has to work with the party girl Ellie played by Tracey Fairaway and the doesn't-get-out-much Madeleine played by Maria Blasucci to find out who exactly made them into a Frankenstein.

Along the way on the trail of what happened the night before they got put together they go after all the men that wronged them or seemed suspicious. They make an ally with Jerry, I meant Garret played by James Phelps who becomes a love interest, I guess technically for all three women, leading to some strange foreplay. I mention him to because Garret is a gamer and was playing Castelvania on NES. This trio also takes revenge in a very bloody matter for those who wronged them including a frat house which will need new members after they're done finding out the truth. All the while a mysterious white van is following them and may lead them to whose behind it all or possibly get them.

One of the best concepts out of the film is that the three women cobbled together are all still there. It's a novel concept of having them have to get a long and share their highs and lows and even deciding what to wear or when to have sex. Seeing them eat is profoundly fun and a mess. Yeah, I got the spaghetti, steak, candy and cool whip all on one plate! We can see all three of them as the audience, but not others around them. All three girls can see each other in their shared mind/s, but on the outside they look like a skitzo talking to them-self, themselves?

And on the outside their looking quite grim, though played by Tory Stolper mainly when walking around or beating people in the movie there are signs of ...problems. You can sort of tell in the face with two different eyes and hair styles, not to mention the giant scars. It give the character a strange, bold look. Later, this Franken-girl tones it down, which we could have done without, switching to a purple hair color that slowly turns red with blood. We're guessing for just budgetary reasons they couldn't keep her as creepy at the start.

The feel of the movie is very much an 80's or 90's horror comedy with an insane plot and just dumb background and stereotypical characters. The surrounding cast are great fodder as actual fodder for kills be them victim or out to get the girls. Their idiotic idiosyncrasies like talking about food or self-loathing make for some silly moments.

Hats off to or kooky scientist played by Corey Sorenson who seems to invent and mash together the girls with green goo very similar to the stuff from Re-Animator. He's a classic weirdo of the mad scientist variety you'll want to see make more mixed up people. Oh and animals.

Patchwork should be on your list for Halloween or of if in the mood for a some comedy horror in a second. Frankenstein is sexier than ever and is out for revenge for treating her like crap. Get Patchwork as soon as you're in the mood to have three girls dying to see you.

Get Patchwork on Amazon and iTunes