Monday, April 1, 2024

Is Mayor Karen Bass Even The Mayor?

By Aphish Kald Wannduh

Once upon a time in the city of angels, there was a mayor named Karen Bass. Or was there? Rumor has it, she became the first female mayor of Los Angeles⁵, but folks are starting to wonder if it was all just a Hollywood script.

You see, Mayor Bass had quite the to-do list: tackling homelessness, greening the city, and attending dinners with celebrities like Jessica Alba. But somewhere between the photo-ops and the policy papers, the people of LA started asking, "Wait, who?"

It's like she went on a trip to Paris to learn about hosting the Olympics, and the city collectively experienced amnesia. "Did we leave the stove on? Did we elect a mayor? Who knows!"

And let's not forget the judge who ordered an audit of LA's homelessness programs. Maybe they were hoping to find a lost memo that said, "P.S. Karen Bass is your mayor."

But fear not, dear Angelenos! Mayor Bass is very much in office, leading with an urgency that's as palpable as the traffic on the 405. She's out there, making history, signing agreements, and probably updating her LinkedIn profile to remind everyone that yes, she's the mayor.

So, was Karen Bass even the mayor? Absolutely. And if you listen closely on a quiet night, you might just hear the faint echo of her mayoral decrees, or maybe that's just the Santa Ana winds. Either way, LA's got a mayor, and her name is Karen Bass. Remember her name, folks, because you never know when there'll be a pop quiz at your next dinner party.

Disclaimer: This blog post is a satirical piece and should be taken with a grain of salt, much like the LA traffic reports. For actual information about Mayor Karen Bass and her initiatives, please visit the official website of the Mayor of Los Angeles.