Friday, June 17, 2016

Doritos Nick Arcade & E3 Lite Sucked

E3 Live @ L.A. Live and Doritos Mix Arcade were such grand ideas. But summed up I would call them utter failures.

Doritos Nick Arcade

Doritos had the idea of a stage in the shape of a six story arcade machine and a playable arcade area. They dubbed it Doritos Mix Arcade. A great idea until the content for this arcade machine was the constant word of Nigga on stage. This was a rap concert and though some attendees love rap, it brought nothing to the table for real gamers. It was a concert for people who like concerts, it wasn't chip tunes and it wasn't music from games. It was old rap music. I know it was old, because the security guard in front was lip syncing to it.

The arcade area was small, but had a few fun titles, 'cept for anything made for Doritos Mix Arcade. It looks like someone was trained in Flash for an hour, stole some clip art of Doritos chips and then stole code from Space Invaders and Breakout to churn out some unplayable garbage to tie into the arcade.

So sadly, I just sighed while writing this, the only games played on the giant arcade machine were the Doritos games. Oh, and it wasn't atop the machine itself, there was a VIP area above the arcade area with a giant joystick to use. So, no tethering of DJ's to the machine while they would play it in front of us.

It was a waste of a perfectly good stage, instead of video game competition we had a break dancing competition when I attended. An f*ing break dancing competition, who cares? Go make a deal with Just Dance, what does this have to do with video games?

The obnoxious host was right out of a bad 90's video game movie, everything about the event was so cliche I was hoping somebody was going to win their girl back in a rap off or something.

There weren't even any funny Doritos songs, where the lyrics would be replaced by Doritos. Earlier in the day, I believed I saw people dressed in Doritos learning to dance, but didn't stay to the end of the show to see if they in fact made Doritos midgets dance in the crowd, which would have made the night worth it.

An unplayable broken machine

Other ideas that failed included wristbands that were suppose to light up and a voting system from the wristbands that let you tap them twice to vote. TTDILA waited around for two hours without them being used once.

Doritos Mix Arcade had such little attendance that by the last day they were letting anyone with a ticket bring three friends, that's just bad numbers.

Doritos, I'm gonna have to go with Pringles. Frito-Lay, you better fire whoever conceived such a stupid event.

E3 Lite

Right next door to Doritos was E3 Live @ LA Live and like someone posted on Facebook it was:

1 Titanfall Statue
1 Alienware Photo Booth
1 Facebook Booth
1 Lootcrate Store
1 Monster(?) Sound system store thing
1 HTC Vive booth with 2 stations, 10 minutes demos and a line that will never end
1 P.U.G VR station where they have you playing a buggy multiplayer VR experience
1 Other store I can not remember
1 WB Lego Booth

It was E3's attempt at a free event for the public, but it may be better not to waste everyone's time on something that on average took two hours wait for the play of a single game. The event, that was mostly stores, also had the fun of being long lined demos in the heat under the sun.

It looked like a sad version of IndieCade, a joyless IndieCade. Which is funny because IndieCade was inside of E3. If the ESA can't manage something decent for the public, it's astonishing they can do anything for the industry. 

The less said about it and the horrible use of LA Live, which remains a terrible location, the better. E3 for normies, well it sucked.