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Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Rage Ground Opens To LA: Smash It All!

Such a sweet sound. The "CLANG!" The brutal pitch that lingers. It was music to my ears. There was an actual opera playing in the background at our request and it only added to it. Should we have live motor cross with the LA Philharmonic playing, vying for the the loudest sounds? The answer is of course, "Yes!" That's what it felt to my friend and myself as we smashed away Saturday at LA's only rage room, Rage Ground. This is a place you pay to smash stuff.

Rage Ground
1120 1/2 S. Main St.
Los Angeles, CA 90015
6pm-12am M-F
2pm- 12am S-S
Price varies by package
Metered street parking and a pay lot nearby 

On our visit we were greeted by one of the co-owners, Edwin Toribio, who showed us around the brand new smash-atorium. Edwin explained how it would all work.
You see:
1. You choose what package you want to get and pay for it. Each package last a certain amount of time and has a certain amount of items you get to destroy. Check out their full list of packages at their site. There's even a bring your own box option: BYOB, where for $14.99 you can bring in a reasonable sized box, like a regular moving box you can get at Staples and then smash it all there.
*There are specialty items in the front that cost extra, you'll get a quote so it can be add to your cost. We got a lovely ceramic chipmunk to take out.
2. You sign a standard waiver.
3. You're put in your private smash room. You suit up. Now my friend and I put on jump suits, intended for one use, so don't worry if gets torn. Then you'll put on protective eye gear and a helmet as we did. Finally, rubber gloves followed by a thick pair of gloves so you don't hurt your hands.
4. You smash, bash and utterly destroy your package.
5. The timer goes off in your room. You take off your gear. The end.

Now I'm holding back the eclectic glee from the raging out. The sheer animosity you have for the objects you're given to destroy. The number of scenarios you can come up with. I mean, I didn't even go over the weapon selection.

Yes, act now and you'll get five wonderful weapons in which you can rain down chaos on unsuspecting inanimate objects. There's the small hammer, the sledge hammer, the metal pipe, the shovel and of course our ol' friend the metal bat. Each of the weapons is available in your room from the get go. No choosing one, their all yours to beat the ever-living-cr@p out of a wooden chair.

"Just going at it with a hammer, a metal chair," that's what Edwin told us was his favorite experience. 

We didn't get a metal chair, they were out of stick. However, we did beat the ever living cr@p out of our package. We were presented with the Premium Rage Session on our test run of the only two week old facility. We smashed mugs from Vegas with a shovel. We hammered Nokia style cell phones. We unsuccessfully tried to smash glass panes on our helmeted-heads. Don't try that because it tougher than usual glass, it's safety glass. We even started smashing the box the stuff came in on. All the while we heard a lovely opera in the background at our request. Music plays for you, usually something a bit more angry, but if there isn't  other groups there, they can hook you up with your tunes. If there are other groups it may be a little extra for those beats you need to bash to.

We have to mention the wonderful armor rubber trash cans. There basically your base and a nicely mobile mover of your objects. You can place your items without a worry of the tough bastard breaking. We ...or really my friend missed the mark quite often hitting the armored trash can and it's rubbery top made it nigh invulnerable

This is an 18+ facility, so you can cuss as much as you want and I'm sure we did. We cussed out that cinderblock and the ash trays we broke them.

Oh the feeling, the feeling of just wailing on something with a metal baseball. The use of force with your own hands breaking something apart. That's sensation we usually don't have unless in deconstruction.The sound that the bat makes, that lovely "CLANG!" The shattering of glass sound.
It was a symphony of rage. An orchestra made up of cussing, things shattering, the touchdowns of weapons landing blows and real opera playing in the background.

Edwin Toribio, with his co-owners Peter Wolf and Alejandro Galindo have created quite a fun place for you to go to. Edwin told me of possible future plans and ideas that might come down the line and let me say they sound delightful. Though, I'm a little angry that crowbars were recently taken off the weapons list. I hope they reconsider. There's just something so novel about destroying something with a crowbar.

Your experience can all be filmed. On top of your order for an extra $10 they give you a Go Pro and send you a dropbox link to your video of releasing your rage out.

I did ask the stray questions that you might have come up with too.

-No food, no liquids to destroy. They don't want to deal with cleaning up any of that.
-If you wan some special, just ask them, but give them time and they'll give you a quote on costs to smash.
-They have pinatas and they are  anextra cost, no candy comes out though.
-I was told the can order you a customized pinata if you give them a picture.
-We did discuss the car smashing level from Street Fighter. As of right now they can't fit a whole car inside, but they seemed open to ideas.

Thanks again to Edwin Toribio & Alejandro Galindo for letting us try out their new place of smash.