Thursday, January 29, 2015

S.H.I.E.L.D. Sucks: The Want To Kill Speedball's Cat

The latest issue of All New Invaders, #14, has S.H.I.E.L.D. doing what it does best, failing morally or just plain failing to do anything worthwhile to help people. Being used to attack the X-Men by Mystique or a mind-controlled by Inhumans, S.H.I.E.L.D. remains useful for air ship disasters.

Their latest wrongdoing, wanting to kill Niels, which is never named, because S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't have good intelligence gathering. Is it wrong of me to care more about this cat's possible death than Wolverine's? People don't like cute pets in bad situations, just look at the Go Daddy commercial that got pulled for referencing a puppy mill.

Simply refereed to as Speedball's cat, this hyper-kinetic kitty is to be euthanized. Most likely the first Human Torch, Jim Hammond, whose a robot, will probably save Niels now that S.H.I.E.L.D. is done studying him. They sometimes treat him less than human, because S.H.I.E.L.D. sucks.

Jim Hammond recently took care of the Future Foundation's many kid members after S.H.I.E.L.D. took them away from the Fantastic Four and treated them like prisoners. Oh S.H.I.E.L.D., you're such a bad organization.

We do agree that Speedball in general sucks for not taking care of his cat, but everyone already hates Speedball.

It's also going to be somewhat hard to kill him unless they're just going to slowly starve poor Niels to death.

Wikia says: Niels has the super ability to create a kinetic field of unknown energy around himself, which absorbed all kinetic energy directed against him. This absorption could vary from resisting the effects of physical objects such as bricks and rocks to resisting that of energy and fire and even explosions. Within his kinetic field it was nearly impossible for him to be hurt, and he instead bounced harmlessly from object to object, with no loss or transference of momentum. When transformed he is surrounded by a display of multi-colored bubbles.