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Saturday, December 26, 2015

Valley Performing Arts Center Continues To Suck Into 2016

Lacking any real creativity from its students and the acts booked, the center continues to suck with no Robo-Cop musical or any fun ideas. CSUN students, aren't you trying to get jobs in the industry? Could you do a play or something fun or creative at the million dollar theater you have? Instead you give us STOMP.

The calendar for Valley is a index of frowns on an Excel sheet that a sad little account opens before dreaming their sad little dreams. Be very unimpressed by a selection of plays and musicals that are bringing the next year of this underperforming playhouse into a new tier of tears.

Beverly Hills' Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts is on par with another year of nothing that will be reported by this site. The site is for things to do in LA, not things to be bored at, so bored you sob into a fetal position about having wasted money on Freeze Frame, with some sort of ridiculous belief it will touch anyone on changing the idea of gun violence. At first, while reading it's synopsis, it sounded like a fun dance musical with y'know freeze frames. It waits for its last sentence to tell you that it sucks, because it knows it does.

Its calendar is like a wall in a gas station near the toilet. Flies have been smashed on the white surface of the bathroom in a random order as the buzzed around the fecal porcelain catcher. Those are the dates of new events at the Anneberg.

If any breakdown in society comes with rioting and mutant gangs I ask that these two buildings are destroyed first and used to play Looney Tunes cartoons with degenrates in the audience acutally enjoying themselves in more numbers than those palces see today.

With so many small and independent playhouses in LA being inventive and fun you have to wonder why these big playhouses stay open or are even given any money to stay open. Sure many of the plays and shows at the smaller playhouses may be ludicrous or not even that good. They're still hundreds of times more fun and engaging than what is no better than garbage bags being thrown on stage and then they rip open and the smell comes at you. 

Really think about anyone you've talked to in LA and realize no one has gone to either of these theaters since they opened.

On the other end look at Royce Hall pulling off a nice mix of artsy-hippy crap like Kid Koala’s Nufonia Must Fall

Directed by K.K. Barrett, recently Oscar-nominated for Spike Jonze’s Her, this live adaptation of the graphic novel unfolds via the real-time filming of more than a dozen intricately-crafted miniature stage settings in which a cast of puppets interact.
and Phantom Limb Company Memory Rings

Memory Rings is a spellbinding journey into the woods of a vanishing past and even more precarious future. By turns meditative and playful, this stunning theatrical collage from the inventive Phantom Limb Company combines fairy tale, fable, puppetry, choreography, original music and striking visual design to chronicle 5,000 years of human and environmental change, all under the watchful gaze of the world’s oldest living tree.
You sicken me Valley Performing Arts Center and Beverly Hills' Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts. You two are the LA Live of playhouses. The same LA Live that was suppose to be the center of our New Year's celebration in LA, but now will all go to the Grand Park, because it's so much better than the worthless LA Live. LA Live, if you don't want your event to be fun you're probably already at LA Live.

LA Live we have food, it's just overpriced...for no reason. LA Llive, wait, where's the movie theater? Yeah, guys I'm sorry the events at LA Live, I know it's a hassle. Why does everything suck there? Canter's is not a part of LA Live.

In closing I also hate LA Live.