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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Iron Man 2 Video Game Sucks ball bearings

It's a Don't Buy Thursday

Iron Man 2 the video games is another terrible movie game. When a games second level is a escort mission you know it's not going to be good. Controls are awful. You can't select weapons fast enough. The health bar can disappear in seconds. There's also this stupid screen that pops up in the lower left to just say hey power isn't a full because your using your thrusters to fly.

The Iron Man 2 video game takes place after the movie so forget seeing Whiplash. The plot is a thrown away piece of garbage. Some former employee of Stark steals apart of his computer A.I. and creates a evil version of Tony Stark's A.I. butler Jarvis. There's a weather machine from a bad G.I. Joe plot and a giant robot battle that is frustrating and repetitive.

If you can figure out one of the worst customizing screens I've ever had the misfortune to use you can change your weapons ammo, speed, and extra powers. I wanna repeat the customization screen is awful. It takes a while to figure out and fights you every step of the way. You  can slighty change Iron man's weapons, but you'll hardly see a difference. Some weapons are useless like the lasers. You'd think you could pull of some cool attacks with double lasers, but no. By the way there aren't any special moves to pull off. You can go invincible for a few seconds with Iron Man or Omega Mode with War Machine. These modes can help you a lot during battle, but they aren't that great visually.

Voice acting is done by the actual cast of Iron Man 2, however you wouldn't be able to tell with the worst character models ever. Cut-scenes are ugly and boring. Tony Stark likes to talks about himself in some sort of strange messages to the player for no reason I could think of. Every time you start a new mission War Machine or Iron Man  will suit up. Unless you've unlocked a new suit, this leads to a awkward posing cut scene that looks like Iron Man is trying to date you or is doing a very poor dance.

The funniest part of the game had to be that some dialog for War Machine had to be done by Phil Lamar, instead of Don Cheadle. Yes, Phil Lamar the voice of every black cartoon character.

Don't even bother renting this. It's not even worth a rental.