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Tuesday, December 11, 2018

The Disgusting Food Museum and You

dead baby mice
for drowned baby mice wine, the babies must be blind for the wine

By Jonathan Bilski
a century egg

Blech! That's what came out of our mouths and luckily not what we had for breakfast. I ate light that morning. A friend who came along did not find anything tasty either, but was smart enough to pack breath mints. Because at the end of your time at the museum or if you wanna rush, you can try out the "buffet" of some "wonderful" samples of food you might find utterly disgusting.

When you go, you'll get to try:

Hákarl, fermented shark
Su callu cheese
Century eggs
Insects (changes based on availability)
Spruce soda
Sauerkraut juice (my face)
Gamle Oles farfar cheese
Swedish caviar
Salty licorice (my least favorite)

It is the pop-up Disgusting Food Museum. Here for the holidays to remind you to be thankful you don't have to eat that other stuff out there in the world...or do you? If you could taste the pages of a Junji Ito's horror manga or really just remember what throw-up is in your mouth then welcome to flavor country. It's a bad country.

From around the world we saw and sadly tasted what is considered some of the most wretched food on earth. And guess what makes the cut from America? "Twinkies, they're filled with preservatives. "Even my eleven-year-old daughter spit them out, " that's Andreas Ahrens, a Swedish  Dad and Museum Director. He took some time to insult Twinkies, A&W Root Beer and to my chagrin Pop Tarts. I know, the gall, Pop-freakin-Tarts.

So, as explained to me by Ahrens, whose breath might have been past due and after sampling so much fermented shark with other press, I can't find him at fault for that, A&W Root Beer taste like tooth paste soda to the rest of the Earth.

*Just remember I endured for you reader. I endured to hear his words coated in smells of things that shouldn't be smelled.

A&W has a taste like toothpaste, but the reason for Twinkies and Tarts of Pop, too sweet and to many chemicals. Ahrens explained Twinkies will not survive a nuclear winter and the amount of real fruit inside of Pop Tarts is a joke. Just eat a real piece of fruit. Pop Tarts are just sugar and chemicals. Also, turns out they were based on dog food. Kellogg's copied the tarts from another company, but made it for people.

I asked Ahrens what was the most disgusting food in the museum, he was ready,  I would like to categorize it in three different things: Visually, I would Casu marzu, the maggot cheese from Sardinia, you eat the maggots and their excrement; they can jump up and bite in your eyes and you can have rental detachment. Taste-wise, I would have to say Su Callu, the goat cheese, made in a baby goat's stomach. And smell-wise, the fermented shark."

Turns out, as Ahrens explains, shark needs to be fermented, because what's in it would poison you. I can tell you from tasting eat, it seems like your being poisoned anyway.

penis of some animal
"He worked at the monkey brain restaurant," Ahrens told me about a woman's father who visited the Swedish Disgusting Food Museum. We were gazing at the table that was supposedly a reconstruction of where you would eat a live monkey's brain. Ahrens believes it was real, but there has been no real proof other than stories from people like the visitor to the Swedish version of the pop-up.

And that pop-up in Sweden has a disgusting photo booth, which we don't. Ahrens said it might make it over. The photo booth sprays some nasty smells at you and takes a picture to capture your face at its most grossed out.

sheep head
We do take some of what the Disgusting Food Museum has with a grain of salt. They have the special Japanese Kit Kats that come in different flavors in the exhibit. Those aren't disgusting, they're fun to try. Last time we talked with Nestle, who owns Kit Kat, they said they're pretty much banned here in LA from Asian super markets that use to carry them other than the matcha ones we keep finding. You can still import them, if you were wondering. So, we disagree and some other countries aren't happy that there treasured treats are inside.

And Ahrens makes the point what we find disgusting over here, like everything from Europe and China, is liked over there because of the culture it comes from where the people over there grew up with it.

Still, how about some dog from China? Because that is true, that eat them, a lot. Or some horse milk from Russia? And we said it at the same time. Why is there alcohol in the horse milk. "It's Russia," we said in unison. And then nothing else, because it's just a thing you know when dealing with Russia.

If you asked me what I hated the most... you didn't, well, that's hurtful, ya jerk. I tell ya anyway, it's salt licorice. In-freakin-joy. That's what children get in Sweden? Why? Do Swedish people hate their children?

Faces, you"ll make there, will not be of joy...just have someone with you to capture yours as you go through.

"Two things,  First of all, that we shouldn't judge foods as so, disgusting and the other thing, alternative protein sources, because we can't keep up the number of meat we're producing," Ahrens told me  was what he wanted to get as the main point of coming. Alternative protein means bugs, but knowing America, we'll just make them flavor blasted bugs.


December 9, 2018 to February 17, 2019
Wednesday – Friday: 2 pm – 8 pm
Saturday -Sunday: 12 pm – 7 pm
CLOSED – Mondays and Tuesdays
A+D Architecture and Design Museum
900 E 4th St, Los Angeles, CA 90013
General Admission (13+): $15 weekdays / $18 weekends
Children 12 and younger: $10