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Friday, October 1, 2021

Temecula Terror 2021: I'll Have What The Evil Clown Is Having

 
We get our haunt on in wine country as the TTDILA team headed out to the Temecula Terror preview. We had three mazes to be scared by and a nice spooky area to calm down in, the Halloween Harvest Carnival. We're gonna rate the mazes and the delightful drinks only the adults can get in the words below.
at Galway Downs
38801 Los Corralitos Rd
Temecula, CA 92592
Oct 1-31 Select Nights
Tickets $tart at $20 (12+ years) and
$10 for children (Family Fright).
 
You have three mazes to choose from, entry gets you into each of them. We'll rate them by the order in which we went on preview night. Some are longer and better than others. Each has it's own them to try and scare. No matter which one you go into, you're gonna get scared.
 

We popped into the quaint and cozy, sort of like being wrapped in a nice comfortable straight jacket, Butterfield Asylum first. This not so abandoned asylum is the shortest maze at the Terror. It tries to jam pack itself with some very disgusting medical horror at every unsettling turn. We remember many crying and screaming women that seemed unhappy about unwanted surgery or missing their children, can't remember which really. If you don't like missing limbs or anything going wrong while visiting the doctor you might want to head to another maze.

The one with a gargoyle perched above it and near the graveyard is The Crypt. The Crypt has a fun concept. The leader of a group gets a lantern to the lead the way. Follow the lantern ahead of you as you go in this poorly lit maze with only the night sky being your only other source of light. This maze has way too many webs. Why are there so many webs here? Oh, that's why... 
 
A little difference goes a long way and the lantern changes up your average maze just enough. I'd still like it to be a little darker and be really dependent on the lantern light. But, as is, it's like living sort of a Scooby-Doo mystery in a haunted house.

The longest maze and our favorite was 301 Hyde Street. This nightmare scenario has you going through a fake haunted house because you were trick-or-treating and wouldn't you have guessed it the owner is actually an angry serial killer named Otis. Oh and he might want your skin. The dark concept blends into a wonderful well-done haunted house that gets scarier and scary as you walk through, because something isn't right with your host. Y'know, the whole wants you skin thing.

Really loved this one for the great design. The used a lot of old-school Halloween decorations that you yourself might have bought over the years and re-used them to make their haunted house. Jack-o-lantern buckets you probably got candy in are now hanging chandeliers. That annoying sounding ghost that you hanged up by the door has multiplied and all of them going at once is unnerving. Try and spot that cameo of all the McDonald's Halloween buckets on the mantle.

Then you get rooms praising candy corn, some glow-in-the dark lighting and transition deeper and
deeper into the distraught house of Otis. He might be a serial killer, but he knows nostalgia.
 
Temecula Terror is a bit away from LA, so it might be best to plan something out for the day there. Maybe some wine for the adults? However, there is plenty to drink at the Temecula Terror.

There's two regular bars, but if you head to the VIP bar they have some fun drinks. You just gotta love the Witches Brew or Corpse Reviver, the bubbles that come off them are too nice not to take a selfie with. They're pricey at $12, but it is like being in a little theme park.

For the kids and downtime they have the Halloween Carnival all around you. That means some messed-up clowns, but also a place to grab tacos and funnel cake and some random shopping. Oddly, didn't see a store selling any Temecula Terror t-shirts.

To clarify, you have Family Frights between 5-7pm, before scary clowns start walking around and kids can get get a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch or paint some Halloween paintings. The carnival stays around after for the adults, so you can still chow down.

Temecula Terror is a fine haunt for those in the area. An hour or two of scares for you and some friends. Enjoy a bubbling over beverage, if 21+ or older. Or just get scared by nostalgia and sinister looking clowns.