Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat Maybe Not The Best Name For Show

 

By  Att Amilton

Jury Duty the original show came out 3 years ago. 3 years later Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky the creators of the show have run out of money and must make another Jury Duty. But they can't use the same name. Amazon tells them they need some connection to the first show so people no what they're in for. And, like a movie trailer using credits like "from the producers of" not being enough, another dark step was taken. 

One lazy executive had the wherewithal to say, "Call it. Jury Duty Presents. So, people know that the people who made that show made this one." 

"Can't we just use our names or in the trailer or go 'from the makers of Jury Duty'? Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky sheepishly asked Amazon.

"NO! What are you stupid?", Amazon said to them as it blew smoke in their faces. And, they added, "Now take your pile of money and don't bother us for another 3 years, that's how cockamamy seasons work here NOW!

Olympics Cancelled: Way To Go Jeff

 

By Ablo Oldstein

Thanks, Jeff! You massive dork! Oy vey. Ughhh, the Olympics, the 130-year-old institution will not be happening in LA thanks to one man, Jeff. Jeff, didn't sign a form, so, we guess, no Olympics for LA. So, all the hard work done by countless citizens and businesses in and around LA will not be done. 

All that hard work going into 2028 and after the reveal of the basic b^$ch reveal of the super bloom as our visual identity for the games. Truly, it would have been spectacular. We mean up our own a$$ nonsense that makes LA great.

Did you know our logo, past-tense had an interchangeable A made different artists and so called celebrities not yet in trouble. As of writing this their were 42 As.

 Jeff, you're such a jerk!

Move Over Shohei Ohtani Souvenir Cup, Dodger Stadium Has A Pricer Item Existence

 

By Omo Hien

Don't worry Dodger fans the price of the Shohei Ohtani Souvenir Cup has gone done from $75 smackaroos to $69 as a joke on sex. And, free refills for the rest of the season.

Do worry as Dodger Stadium is implementing it's newest policy of just taking all the money out of your wallet when you're there. The next time you come to Dodger Stadium every last dollar, coin, credit card and bit of crypto will be drained from you. Vacuums, guard dogs, small people with glue on their hands will go through your pockets, fanny packs and purses to get every last ounce of currency.

Executive Vice President & Chief Operating Officer Bob Wolfe said, "How the f*#k do you think we were gonna pay for Shohei Ohtani's $700 million contract! You get down to Dodger Stadium and you give us all your money!, " as he frothed at the mouth. He then turned red in the face, fell forward onto his desk having a heart attack.

Next week's game will be a memorial game in his honor. You can get a Hello Kitty Head Flopper if you come early, so don't miss it.